This happened December of 2008, while I was in German class at EMU.
I sent a friend, J, this table, in reference to the contents of his refrigerator. He thought it was an ass-ish thing to do. I, however, couldn't stop thinking about condiments, and sent the following text:
'I'm sitting in German class coming up with as many condiment puns as I can.'
J responded: 'Wouldn't do that... You might have to play ketchup with your homework if you can't cut the mustard.'
And I: 'Well, for now I'm relishing this...'
J: 'Trust me, it'll get you in a pickle.' Then, after a brief silence, 'Uh-oh. I broke her. Now I'm in a jam.'
E: 'Excuse me while I find a dressing for my wounds.
J: 'I can't help it if I was born and bread for puns.'
E: 'Don't butter yourself up too much.'
J: 'Eh, either way olive to see another day.'
E: 'If this gets any saucier I'll have to can it!'
J: 'Jar you sure? It's all gravy.'
E: 'Just spicing it up a little! I'm not salty or anything.'
J: 'I couldn't tell, the way you peppered those sentences with puns.'
E: 'Well, I'm just rolling with the food puns!'
J: 'Lettuce put a stop to it!'
E: 'Yes, peas!'
J: 'You'd have to be nuts not to.'
E: 'Cashew just let it go?'
J: '[...] That was one bad egg.'
E: 'You're just jelly-ous of my skill at this game!'
J: 'Sounds like you've a chip on your shoulder about my superior corniness.'
E: 'Would saying 'You're cheesy' be a cop-out?'
J: 'I'll shred what little romaines of you if you do...'
And they say text messaging is adding to the intellectual decline of our generation.
